Hard Corps: Uprising (X360, PS3) (2010-2011)
Developer: Arc System Works

Review by Faididi and Co.

It's missing the Contra name for a reason

Story: Average

Arc System Works' Hard Corps: Uprising is something of a heavily reimagined prequel to Konami's Contra: The Hard Corps (Mega Probotector). A young Bahamut, years before becoming a badass colonel, fights not the alien forces of the Red Falcon, but an oppressive human regime headed by cheesy, run-of-the-mill supervillains. The story would've been safely mediocre had it stopped at just that, but it goes on to cram in stupid text narration about the good guys' thoughts and sappy feelings, as though we're supposed to give a shit.

Gameplay: Below Average

A downloadable game, Hard Corps: Uprising attempts to pass itself as a spin-off from the classic Contra games. It's a sidescrolling 2-Player action shooter with 8 stages, and Bahamut and his friends can find 6 familiar special weapons drawn from Konami's famous series, such as the Spread Gun and the Crush Missile Launcher. However, Uprising also features many differences of its own. The heroes have more moves, like double-jumps and ground- and air-dashes. The game can be played in two modes: the simpler arcade-style mode, or the more complex Rising Mode, where the heroes earn points to purchase a greater amount of reserve lives, weapon perks, and other upgrades.

Alas, if you're wondering why the Contra name is nowhere to be found, that's because Uprising suffers from a slew of problems that the proper Konami games wisely avoid. The problems begin with the screwed-up controls. Bahamut and his friends run and shoot slowly as hell by default. Although the speed of their actions can be gradually upgraded, that process means wasting hours earning enough points merely to bring the heroes back up to Contra standards. The additional moves are crudely tacked onto the basic controls, with a different button being required for each of the new dashing and vaulting abilities. The irritating inconsistencies in which walls or ceilings can be climbed doesn't help, either. The most offensive example of this is the one scene with platforms that arbitrarily let the heroes jump through their corners but not their middle portions.

Next, the choice of different playable characters is a joke. Bahamut and his less-ugly partner Krystal both access the same special weapons, which is no better than the lack of creativity in Way Forward's Contra 4 (Contra Dual Spirits). One of the optional downloadable heroes, Harley, also uses the exact same guns and moves, so one must wonder what's the point of bothering with him. The other optional downloadable hero, Sayuri, plays differently because she relies mainly on up-close slashing attacks, but the fun lasts only until you realize that she refuses to wield any other weapon besides her sword.

Worse of all, the camera work is utter shit. Unlike in every other Contra game, the active enemies in Uprising don't always appear on the screen, and as the heroes weave back and forth in the normal course of action (especially when you're playing with a friend), the camera can snap backwards to place hazards out of view again. Furthermore, the bad guys can kill the heroes while they're off the screen, but not vice-versa, and that is fucking retarded.

Controls: Below Average

What should be perfectly smooth controls are instead bogged down by the sluggish default movement speeds, the needlessly cluttered button schemes, and the widespread inconsistencies in what surfaces can be climbed. Why the dash move and the other evasive tricks aren't grouped together under the same button is puzzling, considering that most of the context-sensitive evasive moves can be performed only during a dash.

Graphics: Average

The 2D characters are drawn with many frames of animation, but the unattractive character designs are another matter. The heroes' eyesore-inducing getups, the enemy soldiers' disgustingly garish uniforms, and the random slabs of metal lumped together to form the hostile mech bosses would better belong in some emo tournament fighter.

Audio: Below Average (English)

The tunes are bland to the point of running together into an unmemorable mess, so switching off the music hardly makes a difference. The regular bad guys give out low sound-quality death groans, and the characters' phrases are annoyingly repetitive. Then again, maybe you'll get a kick out of hearing the enemy leader sound as though he's being dubbed by three different actors.

Overall: Below Average

Hard Corps: Uprising isn't called Contra, because it isn't a real Contra game, not when it's plagued by so many aggravating flaws. No fan of Konami's action shooter classics should have to put up with this lousy spin-off's awkwardly cluttered controls, spectacularly idiotic camera work, grossly unappealing art style, and laughably bad audio effects. If you want a downloadable Contra game that's awesome, go for Contra Rebirth, even if that means putting up with the Wii.